93: Beyond Executive Presence: What Women in Leadership Actually Need (Part 1)

February 18, 2026

Executive presence has been the gold standard for decades. Project authority. Dominate the room. Wear the power suit. That model was built for command-and-control hierarchies, and it's costing leaders innovation, talent, and trust.

In this episode, I break down what's broken about the traditional executive presence model, why the shift to leadership presence is happening now, and what research says about leading through performance versus leading from identity. Part 1 of a two-part series. Next week, I walk you through the three components of leadership presence and what it looks like in practice.

If you've been told to "work on your executive presence" and the advice felt generic or exhausting, this one is for you.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

The traditional executive presence model was built for a different era. It centres on projecting authority, dominating rooms, hiding emotion, and looking the part. That worked for command-and-control hierarchies but it is no longer serving the leaders expected to operate through them.
Sylvia Ann Hewlett's framework identified three pillars: gravitas (67%), communication (28%), and appearance (5%). These elements still matter, but the model focuses on projection and performance rather than identity and alignment.
Women face a double bind the old model doesn't account for. Expected to exhibit both warmth and assertiveness, women who lean into assertiveness are perceived as abrasive. Those who prioritise warmth are dismissed. The executive presence playbook was never designed for this reality.
Current executive presence programs teach tactics without foundation. Persuasion, communication, networking, and visual articulation are important skills, but learning them without understanding how you naturally influence turns presence into performance.
Three forces are driving the shift to leadership presence. AI is making human skills (critical thinking, empathy, emotional regulation) more valuable. Hybrid work requires trust over control. Constant change demands resilience built on internal steadiness, not external projection.
Leaders with high emotional intelligence outperform earning goals by 20% (McClelland, cited in Goleman 1998). This is profitability, not soft skills.

Leadership presence is a dynamic interplay of three components: Presence + Positioning + Perception. If one of these three is off, something feels wrong even if you can't name it. Part 2 goes deeper into each.

The traditional executive presence model was built for a different era. It centres on projecting authority, dominating rooms, hiding emotion, and looking the part. That worked for command-and-control hierarchies but it is no longer serving the leaders expected to operate through them.
Sylvia Ann Hewlett's framework identified three pillars: gravitas (67%), communication (28%), and appearance (5%). These elements still matter, but the model focuses on projection and performance rather than identity and alignment.
Women face a double bind the old model doesn't account for. Expected to exhibit both warmth and assertiveness, women who lean into assertiveness are perceived as abrasive. Those who prioritise warmth are dismissed. The executive presence playbook was never designed for this reality.
Current executive presence programs teach tactics without foundation. Persuasion, communication, networking, and visual articulation are important skills, but learning them without understanding how you naturally influence turns presence into performance.
Three forces are driving the shift to leadership presence. AI is making human skills (critical thinking, empathy, emotional regulation) more valuable. Hybrid work requires trust over control. Constant change demands resilience built on internal steadiness, not external projection.
Leaders with high emotional intelligence outperform earning goals by 20% (McClelland, cited in Goleman 1998). This is profitability, not soft skills.
Leadership presence is a dynamic interplay of three components: Presence + Positioning + Perception. If one of these three is off, something feels wrong even if you can't name it. Part 2 goes deeper into each.

TIMESTAMPS

0:00 - Introduction: Executive presence is dead
1:00 - Podcast intro
1:30 - Why this conversation matters now
2:30 - The old executive presence model (projection, performance, polish)
3:45 - The three pillars: Gravitas, Communication, Appearance
4:30 - The problem: You can't sustain performance
5:00 - The cost of command-and-control (40% creativity suppression, 25% higher turnover)
6:15 - The double bind for women leaders
7:00 - What traditional programs are still teaching (and what's missing)
8:30 - Why 2026 requires something different
9:00 - The 2026 landscape (AI, hybrid work, constant change)
10:30 - The empathy dividend (research-backed data)
11:45 - Introducing The Visibility Equation™
12:30 - Leadership Presence = Presence + Positioning + Perception
13:00 - Teaser for Part 2 + closing

RESEARCH REFERENCED

Hewlett, S. A. (2014). Executive Presence: The Missing Link Between Merit and Success.
HarperBusiness. McClelland, D. (1996). Competency assessment methods, cited in Goleman, D. (1998). What Makes a Leader? Harvard Business Review. Double bind research: Catalyst and HBR studies on gender expectations in leadership.

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Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] I honestly believe that leadership presence is the way forward, and it starts with who you are, not what tactics do I need to deploy? Because when change in your environments is constant and resilience is critical. Being exhausted through those isn't going to be the way forward.

Welcome to the Style and Strategy Podcast, where personal brand meets leadership and style. I'm Sonya, a personal brand and style coach who's been exactly where you are juggling career and business success. Personal growth and finding a style that truly fits. After decades in corporate leadership, I've learned that showing up isn't just about what you do, it's about how you align who you are and how the world sees you.

This season, I'm bringing you practical strategies, bold insights, and honest conversations to help you [00:01:00] amplify your presence, unlock your next level, and lead with clarity and confidence. Let's dive in.

Executive presence as we know it is not working . Not because presence doesn't matter, but because the version we've been taught, the one that says project authority, dominate the room, wear the power suit is absolutely exhausting and it suppresses innovation.

In 2026 and beyond, the organisations that are actually outperforming their peers aren't led by the ones with people with executive presence. They're led by the people with leadership presence, and the difference is everything, and I'm here for it. If you've been told to work on your executive presence, you've probably been told to project confidence command the room.

Look the part that model was built for, I [00:02:00] guess you could call it the command and control hierarchies. I've been there. I have worked through those, and I've also worked through what I would describe as leadership presence instead. And in 2026, it is actively costing you innovation, talent, and trust. Today I'm gonna really walk you through what I'm seeing as this shift from executive presence to leadership presence.

What's broken about the old model and where going forward requires something different, and why Leadership presence. Is the way forward. And what is it exactly? So why does this even matter if you are a woman navigating, leadership in a world dominated by change? The old rules, they weren't written for us and they're no longer working really for anyone.

It is taken me a [00:03:00] little while to write this episode. It's a conversation that I've been wanting to have for a really, really long time. Those of you who've been around for a while, you can see that I differentiate a little bit.

There's always been something about that word, executive presence that bothered me.

So executive presence has really been the gold standard for decades, right? But honestly, I feel like it was built for a different era. And it's no longer serving us. We've talked about the, 2026 is the year of the fire horse and, you know, we just went through the year of the snake and it's about shedding and moving forward and things are gonna be different in human design.

We talk about the 2026 is the beginning of this sort of new era. We're preparing for 2027, which is actually going to be this shift in paradigm. And this all plays into what I'm talking [00:04:00] about. So let's just go back a bit and let me go through what traditionally, executive presence teaches.

So traditionally it's about projecting authority. Dominating the room with your voice. Staying calm in crisis, showing no emotion, looking the part being polished and professional in a power suit, commanding respect through formality. There was a framework developed for this. So Sylvia Ann Hewletts research identified the three pillars of gravitas.

So, which was about 67% your ability to project authority communication made up about 28%. So confidence speaking and appearance was about 5%, and it was kind of talked about like polished presentation and for a long time, all of this made sense. Command and control hierarchies. If your job was to direct people and maintain order that projection [00:05:00] worked, but this is what I see as the problem.

That model asks you to really perform a version of yourself or project confidence even when you are uncertain. Hide the emotion. When you're navigating complexity. Look the part, even when it doesn't feel like you. The thing is you can't sustain performance. It's exhausting. It's like being an actor in a movie and having to hold that character, not just for that movie, but for your entire career.

So if that is the default, you are not just. Exhausting yourself. You are actively suppressing innovation and potentially losing your best people. Research shows that when women face what's called a double [00:06:00] bind, we're expected to exhibit both.

Stereotypical feminine traits, warmth, empathy, and then on the flip side, assertiveness and ambition. You start to lean in to the assertiveness, and then you are viewed as, oh, she's a bit abrasive. You then prioritize warmth and you are dismissed as weak. So that old executive presence model doesn't account for this.

It asks us to fit a mold that may never have been designed for us.

The traditional programs out there are still teaching this, and let me be very clear. I'm not saying the skills don't matter. Of course, communication matters. I've done a whole podcast on this. Persuasion matters, influence matters. Networking matters. Those are critically important, but. The teachings I'm seeing are only focused on [00:07:00] those elements. So informal influence, persuasive communication, networking strategies, visual articulation. But here's what I'm seeing is missing. If you are learning persuasion techniques without understanding how you are naturally designed to influence. Is that not just a performance or an act? If you're building communication skills without understanding of how you internally identify, are you projecting a version of yourself instead of being yourself?

I honestly believe that leadership presence is the way forward, and it starts with who you are, not what tactics do I need to deploy? Because when change in your environments is constant and resilience is critical. Being exhausted through those isn't going to be the way forward.

It's really hard to lead through disruption if you're running on empty. [00:08:00] Trust me, I've been there, and you can't build trust. If you're performing or acting a version of you that isn't real, let me know. Have you been there? And you can't sustain high performance if every day requires to you to be someone that you're not.

And I think many of us are starting to really push back on that. So if executive presence is failing us, what is the alternative?

Before I get into what leadership presence is in my mind, I want you to really understand why this shift is happening. Because it's not just, a one-off thing that we're seeing here. There's a response to the environment we're actually leading in oh my goodness. You can't wake up without hearing some new development saying we need to move forward.

We need to get ahead of the game. It is everywhere we are living and breathing it and [00:09:00] even me talking about it, I feel tired because there is so much of it and the pace of it is relentless. I remember a conversation that I had with a leader in Google who had said, it's really exciting times, but my teams are working harder than ever just to keep pace.

So as AI starts to come into the picture more. our human skills really intensified critical thinking, empathy, emotional regulation. These are what can't be automated. I have no doubt that, you know, there'll be tech firms and AI that will try, but I'm hoping.

Humanity will keep that part human. So your value as you as an individual isn't about really projecting that authority anymore. It's navigating that complexity [00:10:00] that AI can't solve right now. Number two, what else is happening? Hybrid work requires trust and not control, and that was really demonstrated when we hit COVID.

Obviously now, you know, many years on, a lot more firms are bringing people back into the office to, create and reconnect that connection. And that command and control, even if you are working hybrid a couple of days a week, you know command and control on a distributed team, doesn't work.

Trust is actually built through connection and psychological safety. That is the new competitive advantage. And number three is that change is constant, personally and professionally. Right? And resilience and having resilience is going to be absolutely critical. We are not leading [00:11:00] in stability anymore.

We are leading through constant disruption. Every day there is a new change that's come through. There's a pivot in what you were doing. There's something that needs to be addressed. And here's what the research tells us, that leaders who maintain an internal steady state who can stay grounded through chaos, actually build the most trust.

So if you're running on empty, your team feels it. even if you're saying all the right things.

I'm gonna call it the empathy dividend, and it's real. Let me give you some numbers I've found on this. Leaders with high emotional intelligence will outperform earning goals by 20%. . This isn't soft skills, right? This is now profitability. [00:12:00] So in 2026, the leaders who are outperforming their peers aren't the ones with the most polished executive presence.

They're the ones who've made that shift to leadership presence. So I know you're saying, okay, what is the difference? So my perspective on leadership presence isn't one thing. It's this dynamic interplay of three components. I like to call it the visibility equation, and you may have heard me talk about it before.

Leadership presence equals. Presence plus positioning, plus perception. Write it down or just remember it because even if one of these three is off, something will feel wrong even if you can't name it.

So stay tuned for part two of this episode, which will drop next week.

Thank you for tuning into style and strategy. I hope today's [00:13:00] episode gave you a spark of clarity, a boost your confidence, or a new way to approach your personal brand and style. If you found it valuable, share it with someone or leave me a review or drop me a note and let me know what resonated most for you.

Remember, every small shift brings you closer to your next level. Until next time, keep confidence. And of course, ownable.

93: Beyond Executive Presence: What Women in Leadership Actually Need (Part 1)

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