[00:00:00] Welcome to the Style and Strategy Podcast, where personal brand meets leadership and style. I'm Sonya, a personal brand and style coach who's been exactly where you are juggling career and business success. Personal growth and finding a style that truly fits. After decades in corporate leadership, I've learned that showing up isn't just about what you do, it's about how you align who you are and how the world sees you.
This season, I'm bringing you practical strategies, bold insights, and honest conversations to help you amplify your presence, unlock your next level, and lead with clarity and confidence. Let's dive in.
Sonya | Leadership Brand & Style Coach: You know that story right where you walk into a major meeting. And you've grabbed the outfit that really either a, [00:01:00] landed your last three promotions or I'd call it like your lucky outfit. Maybe it was black trousers, a tailored blazer. Maybe it was a dress or even something with a simple top underneath.
It was your, I'm gonna call it go-to Armor, right? The outfit that makes you feel capable and prepared and you, but this time it feels wrong. Not bad, not inappropriate or anything like that, just off. And I can tell you through the number of conversations I have with clients that they normally can't name what is going on, but it just doesn't work any more.
The outfit hadn't changed, meeting format hadn't changed, but something in the room felt different and. , You know it even if someone else doesn't, and that plays in [00:02:00] your mind. So if you've ever stood in front of your wardrobe and thought, there's nothing wrong here, but something is definitely not right, you are not imagining it.
And here's what most people don't really understand. The wardrobe isn't broken. You have changed, and that gap that's starting to widen and you've started to become aware of is because who you were when you built that wardrobe over time and who you're becoming as you are evolving as a person, as a leader.
Has shifted and so today I wanna talk about the 3% change that could change everything for you. The small strategic refinements, that signal, okay, I've evolved now and I'm ready to step into that without a complete overhaul, without [00:03:00] losing yourself and without feeling like you are playing Dress up. Your wardrobe absolutely has an expiration date, and it's definitely not tied, to trends.
It's tied to what I like to call your leadership evolution. So this is not just about style. It's always fundamentally comes back to how you're experienced in the rooms that matter to you. And I talk a lot on this podcast about the gap between capability, credibility, how brilliant women doing the work, but not always being positioned as the leader.
They already are. And one of the most overlooked places that gap can show up is in those small, invisible, disconnects in how you are presenting yourself visually. not your expertise, not your delivery, not your track record. 'cause you know you've got that. It's that your style is really [00:04:00] reflecting the role you had five years ago, not the room you're walking into today.
And the frustrating part for most women is. You can feel it, but you can't always name it. one of my clients said it perfectly. I've got my board meeting suit on today, but I've got my casual Friday outfit. But between that, it's kind of a bit slapped together, same pair of pants and a top. And then when there's this impromptu meeting that I haven't thought about what I'm wearing.
on those days where I'm in the middle, I feel like that impacts my voice. Anyone else hear that? Or have those situations, you know, those times where you walk, you go, I'm going into the office today, versus I would normally work from home. And then suddenly it's oh, such and such, I want you to come out and meet, major client, [00:05:00] et cetera.
And you are thinking, I'm not dressed for this today. I'm not. I thought I was just gonna be behind the laptop and, pumping something out. So today.
That is that gap that I'm talking about. So today we are gonna unpack it, why your wardrobe fills off even though there's nothing technically wrong. Okay? So the first thing I wanna talk about is a concept that I've put together, which I call the ladder of elevation. and I use it in a few different ways, but why small refinements really can create this significant impact, right?
We know the Pareto principle around the 80 20 rule, and in the majority of circumstances, that 20% that makes the biggest impact. So what to refine first when you're ready to be experienced, sim and be, ready for those moments. So let's dig into it. So here's what [00:06:00] happens when you are in leadership transition, or even just a season of what I'm gonna call personal evolution.
For me, it seems to happen every November. There's this shift. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the changing seasons, et cetera. But for me it's then I'd love to know if you've started to pick up, yeah, actually there's a consistent time there. So here's what happens. Your wardrobe becomes this time capsule.
It reflects who you were when you bought those pieces, that role you had, the rooms you were navigating that version of yourself that needed to feel safe or capable, not. Or just not out of place. And for a while it works. Those pieces do their job, they support you, they give you confidence, and then all of a sudden they don't because something shifts.
Maybe you got promoted, maybe you start getting invited to bigger tables. Maybe you are just different now. You've grown, your [00:07:00] leadership presence has deepened the way you see yourself as expanded, right? Maybe you've gone through some personal growth and suddenly that same outfit that made you feel so good and so powerful almost makes you feel invisible.
And another client really described it like this, and I'm, for privacy purposes, I'm gonna use my name, but. I have work, Sonya and I have home Sonya, and I'm either underdressed for occasions or I'm overdressed. I can't quite find that middle ground. My leadership style is so safe. I'm actually bored pants and a shirt, and I don't deviate from that.
She wasn't saying her wardrobe was bad, she was saying that it no longer matched who she was seeing herself as, and that is the invisible [00:08:00] expiration date I am talking about. Your wardrobe's not broken, but it's no longer calibrated to the version of you that's showing up in these rooms. And here's the tricky part.
Because nothing is technically wrong, right? You don't always know what to fix. You just know that something is off. So you do one of two things. You keep wearing those same safe pieces and feel a quiet frustration every time you get dressed or you assume that, oh God, I need a complete. Wardrobe overhaul, which can feel overwhelming, expensive, inauthentic for some of you feel super exciting.
But here's what I want you to know. You don't need that complete reinvention. Sometimes it's just about the strategic refinement, and that's where my concept of the ladder of elevation comes in. So the Ladder of Elevation is a framework I built to really help women understand that style is [00:09:00] an evolution, and it isn't always about starting over.
It's about elevating in layers. Think of it like a layer in three rungs, and each rung you are making small, intentional refinements that signal to the room and to yourself, most importantly, that you have evolved. so let's say, let's talk about it really as foundation fit. Okay?
this is where most women start to realize that something is off. It's about ensuring that your clothes actually fit the body you have today, not the body you had five years ago, and not the body you are wanting to have, right? This is where you look at tailoring. Are your trousers dragging? Is your blazer pulling at the shoulders?
Are the proportions right? Are you still wearing the same silhouettes you wore previously and they're not working for you? Is it more important for you [00:10:00] around the comfort element, which I know for many of my clients it is. That's critical, Do you want to get that balance of feeling elevated you put together?
Does this piece feel like you or does it feel like, oh gosh, I'm wearing a costume. This is not me anymore. This is the foundation. If this isn't right, if nothing else will feel good. So you wanna start there? Number two. So the second ladder, rung on the ladder really is about finishing touches.
So this is the 3% I'm talking about the small upgrades that have this disproportionate impact, right? So this includes. Texture contrast, right? Switching from just a flat cotton shirt to maybe a silk shirt or a structured knit, those accessory upgrades, replacing the basic handbag, that basic piece of jewelry with something that is much [00:11:00] more intentional.
Maybe there's resin, maybe there's a design, maybe it's bolder. Something that feels more elevated color, right color authority. Maybe it's shifting from the bold, bright colors that you've got to, using more contrast. Maybe it's moving or adding in some elements of contrast and color into a neutral wardrobe that you have.
Here's the thing. These finishing touches are doing 30% of the work in how you're experienced. They signal this element of refinement when it comes to your style without saying a word. One of my clients said a 10 for me. For style and brand and how My experience is when I put my work wardrobe on and the feeling I get is I have arrived.
I'm right where I need to be. I lead with [00:12:00] confidence, grace, and conviction. I love that. That is amazing. And that feeling it comes from those small refinements, not necessarily a complete overhaul. That third rung on that ladder is about signature style embodiment. This is where your style becomes unmistakably, yours, not just injecting trends in, not just trying to look like somebody else, but it's actually you at your most expressed and feeling really comfortable in that.
So this is where you've done the work in rungs one and two, and now you are refining for your personal signature, the details that people remember around you. It's. You are calibrating for the context that you might be going to. So board, client, pitch, speaking on stage, you know how to dial that up or dial it down.
Maybe it's that what I also, I like to call the effortless [00:13:00] impact, right? You grab something from your wardrobe that you know that works because. Everything in that wardrobe is intentionally curated. This is the level where women tell me, I want to confidently grab a look out of my wardrobe and just walk out the door and not worry about what people think, what I am thinking.
I can just go in and do the job. That is the goal, right? That is what this ladder is designed to give you. So here's the question you might be asking. So where do I start? Because if you are feeling that something is off sensation, you might be tempted to do everything at once. I'm going out, I'm gonna go, do a full wardrobe overhaul, new wardrobe, new accessories, new everything.
And I'm gonna tell you now, that's actually not that strategic. And honestly, it can actually be exhausting. Especially if shopping is not your first love. So here's what I [00:14:00] recommend. Start with some finishing touches. Why? Because this is where you can get some of the biggest returns on your investment, both financially and energetically.
You don't need to replace the entire wardrobe. You need to elevate what you already have. So here are three questions I want you to ask yourself. So number one, what am I wearing on repeat? That feels safe, but not quite right. So it might be your go-to outfit, the one you reach for when you don't wanna think about it.
And it's probably working, but it's just not elevating you. Ask yourself, what is one small shift I could make to this outfit that would make it feel more intentional, more me? Maybe it's swapping out, the ballet flats for a loafer or a square toed chew. Maybe it's adding that scarf or an elevated piece of bold jewelry.
Maybe it's a blazer with more structure or a Richard fabric with texture, right? Or a vest [00:15:00] with a belt tie. Number two, where am I blending in when I really should be leading that room? Think about the rooms that you are walking into. Are you dressed like everyone else? Is it same sane if you're in senior leadership?
Is your style more refined? I'm not saying flashier more expensive. it's not about that. But it's more refined. So maybe it's an upgrade of a bag. Maybe it's a watch. Maybe it's that richer textures. Maybe it's refining the color. Contrast number three, what would make me feel like I've arrived? One of my clients said this beautifully.
She said, I don't wanna look like someone else. I wanna feel like me, but at my next level. So ask yourself, when you imagine the version of [00:16:00] you who's already in those bigger rooms, what is different? What's she wearing? How does she carry herself? And then refine for just that, just the 3%. So let's come back to that woman in the boardroom.
The one who walked in wearing the outfit that had always worked, but felt off the outfit, hadn't failed her. She just outgrown it. So instead of completely starting over, make those three small refinements. Get the tailoring if you need it. Upgrade the basic, black tote. Swap out that cotton button down for a silk or silk blend, linen blend, whatever it is that works for you and your budget.
Same outfit structure, same color palette. Same you, but 3% difference. And that 3% could change how you feel walking into that room, how you're [00:17:00] experienced in it,
and how your style can reflect who you are now and not who you were five years ago because that gap. Will cost you your positioning, your presence, the impact that I know you are here to make. So the ladder of elevation is just one part of the framework. I teach within my programs, within my one-on-ones.
But here's the thing, knowing what to refine is one part, but understanding how to do it in a way that feels like you and matches where you are going. That is the deeper work I do within my 3D impact method. Whether you're getting started or wanna learn the frameworks at your own pace, or you're ready for a really high touch, one-on-one experience inside a private, private container with me, the through lime is the same.
we close the gap with how you're experienced across leadership, identity and presence, your personal brand, your style, and your [00:18:00] communication impact. So if you are in that season right now where something fill off, but you can't quite name it, I'd love to support you. You can learn more about what the work I do, at the link in the show notes.
And if this episode resonated. Let me know. Leave a review. DM me. I'd love to hear or tag another woman who's ready to hear this because the more of us who understand this, the few of us will be left behind. I'll see you in the next episode.
