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86: Invisible in the Room? 5 Leadership Patterns Quietly Costing You (and How to Shift Them)

This isn’t a teaching episode—it’s a coaching session. Sonya guides you through a live inquiry to surface the hidden patterns that make high-achieving women feel invisible in high-stakes rooms. You’ll identify your dominant pattern, see where it once served you, quantify what it’s costing you now, and choose one concrete action to shift it this week.

You’ll learn

  • The five most common leadership patterns behind “I felt invisible”:

    1. Strategic restraint (waiting for the perfect moment)

    2. Room calibration (shapeshifting your energy)

    3. Invisible influence (doing the work, missing the visibility)

    4. Preparation as protection (over-prepping, under-trusting)

    5. The recognition gap (excellent work, under-positioned)

  • Why these patterns worked earlier in your career—and why they stall you now

  • The specific costs: missed influence, diluted presence, and stalled advancement

  • A simple, one-step assignment to break the loop this week

Coaching prompts from the episode

  • “What story did you tell yourself in that moment?”

  • “When did this pattern serve you?”

  • “What is this pattern costing you now—specifically?”

  • “If you weren’t running this pattern, what would you do instead?”

Action menu (pick one this week)

  • Speak once in the first 10 minutes of a meeting (end the “perfect timing” myth)

  • Decide your baseline energy before 3 meetings and bring that energy

  • When praised, don’t deflect: “Thank you—here’s what I focused on.”

  • Prepare enough, then trust yourself to navigate live

  • Make one win visible (DM/email/post walking through your thinking)

Who this is for
Senior female leaders and founders who are deeply capable, yet feel under-seen in high-stakes rooms—and are ready to align identity, expression, and positioning.

 

LINKS & RESOURCES

➡ A 4 part private podcast to help you reconnect with how you want to be seen—so your leadership presence reflects who you are, not just what you do.

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