[00:00:00] Welcome to the Style and Strategy Podcast, where personal brand meets leadership and style. I'm Sonya, a personal brand and style coach who's been exactly where you are juggling career and business success. Personal growth and finding a style that truly fits. After decades in corporate leadership, I've learned that showing up isn't just about what you do, it's about how you align who you are and how the world sees you.
This season, I'm bringing you practical strategies, bold insights, and honest conversations to help you amplify your presence, unlock your next level, and lead with clarity and confidence. Let's dive in.
sonya---brand---style-studio_1_08-19-2025_162826: Hi everyone and welcome back to the Style and Strategy Podcast. So this last week I actually booked out a morning to myself. Seems like a normal [00:01:00] thing you can do, but for me it was like a deliberate activity that I had to do, and so many of you may relate to this. So no calls, no doing any content, no seeing clients, just time on my own.
And this wasn't really about, just being indulgent for me. it actually took everything in me to stop, and take that time out. So what ended up happening was I used the day to do something that I haven't done in a while, and that was to do something I love, which is.
Shopping and I actually really enjoy shopping. Yes, I enjoy shopping for clients, but when I do it, it is extremely strategic. it's no fuss. I know exactly what I'm looking for or, you know, if I'm scouring, I might be scouring online,to bring through some international brands and so forth.
But this time I just wanted to go. And shoppers me not as the style [00:02:00] coach, not as the leadership brand coach, but just as Sonya, an everyday person going out and having a shop. So whilst that might seem really, a normal thing to do, the funny thing is when you go incognito, the reason why you do that, and many stylists will relate to this.
Is normally when you walk in store, you will know, either the retail assistance or maybe. the manager's there, et cetera, and they always assume that you are shopping for someone else. rather than yourself. So, uh, going incognito and not having to worry about that is, is something I actually enjoy, doing.
But what actually happened in this particular instance, was. It put me really back into my client's shoes because I stepped into an experience in the way that they do, and sometimes you can forget about what [00:03:00] it's like for someone to walk into a store and,not. Know exactly what you are looking for or, and then being, you know, shown a lot of pieces.
So what actually happened in this particular instance, I found a location where, I hadn't been to in a while, so I popped in there, but. As always, I had looked online prior to see what it was that I wanted to go check out, and I normally like to check things out because I wanna make sure, is the quality up to scratch?
Is it exactly how they described it, does it have the right texture and feel as I anticipated. And of course, the fit this particular item. Had indicated that it was a cropped pair of pants. but when I was looking at the, image online, the model was 176 centimeters and, it said it was a cropped pant and it looked quite long on her.
I wanted to validate that. And so going in there, I was greeted by the retail assistant, who was extremely helpful. I pointed out I'm looking [00:04:00] for this particular suit. I'd like to, have a look at that in a little bit more detail. She pointed me to the direction of the suit of which I grabbed my sizing to give it a go, and then.
Started the, rapport building exercise, which was ah, one of the ladies, that works here. and then started,that conversation. Are you looking for anything else? And, someone else who's bought this suit's been really, popular, but really difficult color to wear.
So I would suggest you just, either get something in the same color or potentially just use white,
So during that conversation, although that would've been helpful in most circumstances, that conversation then led to, let me just bring you some other pieces that I know you're going to love. and that was without a prequalification of what it is that I actually like. and so there was a whole lot of [00:05:00] pieces brought over, to me, which I found a really interesting e experience.
And although they were lovely pieces on their own, they were not me at all. and here's the tension piece, because I was in my laid back. I'm not a stylist today. I didn't challenge her. I didn't let her know, and so I didn't push back. I didn't give her the information that she would've known to be able to help me better.
And so taking that into consideration, this is something that I see time and time again across business and leadership, and that is if you don't hold your own clarity, others will offer you their best guess. All very well-meaning, but likely not really aligned [00:06:00] to what you are looking for.
and that's exactly what that beautiful retail assistant did. She tried to serve me by providing a whole lot of things, Which then potentially could have created greater confusion. But also I didn't make my life easier and I didn't make hers by really giving her the clarity so she could help me in the best way possible.
When I talk to clarity, I don't mean being really rigid or, being, really fixed in a particular way. What I'm really referring to is having clarity when it comes to your wardrobe, having clarity around your brand, having clarity around the decisions that you are making, and then enabling you to move with so much more conviction and what [00:07:00] everyone loves.
A little bit of speed Because having conviction in your clarity means that when you communicate something, you are able to do it so much more powerfully because you know exactly how it stands. You know exactly what you want and how it's aligned to you. And there's been a few studies around this that reinforces, this scenario, For example, there was a study done by Iyengar and Lepper in 2000, which was really about choice overload. some of you may be familiar with that particular study, and it was about jam and it was specifically done in a supermarket setting where too many options of jam actually lowered confidence and really reduced satisfaction to the consumer.
Versus a situation where there were fewer and clearer choices actually led to a [00:08:00] much better outcome. You've heard me talk about the concept of enclothed cognition before. and that was Adam and Galinsky in 2012, where it were referred to, what you wear actually can influence how you perform.
Now, taking that one step further. You know that I talk about leadership presence and understanding what levers to pull to get a really aligned leadership presence. But it often starts with this embodied internal confidence.
So if you consider this in light of my conversation or lack thereof at that moment in time.
By communicating with clarity what I was actually looking for and my version of that, it would've saved me a whole lot of time and been much more strategic, and that's something that I talk to with my clients [00:09:00] all the time.
If we think about identity driven leadership, really when you're in a room with so many individuals who may not know you, the clearer you can be, the less explaining you have to do. very much like the jam research paper that. I referred to earlier because you walk into a room and your presence can lead, and then the words follow.
So it becomes really important that the words that are coming out are coming out with clarity. so following on from my example and really taking a step back. I often share with clients, especially where they might be preparing for a moment where they need to make a big decision or standing in front of a large room or a crowd, but you can even use this as simply when you're standing in [00:10:00] front of your wardrobe, and that's really asking yourself three key questions. One is this aligned with how I wanna be experienced and how I wanna be seen.
Two, does it really reflect for what I stand for and not just what I do? And then the final part is, am I really willing to back this even if I feel it doesn't fit me or it's a bit unexpected?
So by asking those three questions, it's got the ability to really sharpen your presence and realign you to the decisions that actually matter the most, because it's not just about this top looks good. There's always more to it than that. So for [00:11:00] those of you who are wondering, did I end up buying the suit?
Yes, I did. And do I love it? Absolutely. And did it meet those questions? Yes, but really what I took home from that exercise was choosing not to settle in the moment even though I wanted to take that hat off. So I'll leave you with these. Where are you potentially making. Compromises that disconnect you from what you actually want.
And what would shift for you if you actually trusted yourself enough to pause and hold out for what you really want that feels aligned to you. If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend or tag me, DM me, and let me know your answers to these questions. I'd love to [00:12:00] hear from you, and until next week, I'll speak to you soon.
